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This question has also troubled me for many years. My simple parents taught me to proactively contact "useful" friends. This answer seems fine, and I believe many of you have heard similar responses. So today, I will start from this answer to discuss the truth about networking.
First, the correct part of this answer is the phrase "proactively contact," which is very important. All friendships or networks are cultivated over time, and this comes at the cost of your energy and emotions. The only result of not proactively contacting is that you will lose your friends. This principle is simple, but for someone naturally introverted and not fond of socializing like me, it took a great price to finally understand, and I have drifted apart from some good friends. Networks are like plants and trees; they need proactive watering and care to grow healthily.
Below, I want to share a few points that I think are important and easily misunderstood:
Misconception 1: Networks must be "useful."
Here, "useful" often carries labels, either being powerful or having some explicit resources. But the truth is, everyone has something you can learn from, and friends who benefit you are all good networks. How to distinguish what is beneficial? We say there are three types of beneficial friends: those who exchange ideas to help you grow, those who support and encourage each other in career, and those who communicate emotions and share life. Friends who can play these three roles should be treasures we cherish in life, regardless of their current status, identity, wealth, or fame.
Someone once said that everyone who appears in your life has a reason for existing. And I believe that every encounter is an opportunity for growth, so we should cherish every fateful meeting given by heaven. Breaking the "snobbish eye" and cherishing the people in front of you is very important in networking.
The rarest treasure in life is old friends. You have known each other for years, understand each other, and a smile can convey understanding. This is rare and hard to find. Many successful career people only realize in old age that they lost the most important thing in the race of life—old friends.
Misconception 2: To develop networks, you must try every means to know more people.
This is common in speeches by various "masters," such as attending more gatherings, making more phone calls, or exchanging a certain number of business cards at a party.
Knowing more people is not wrong. But the core of developing networks is not about knowing more people, but first developing yourself. For example, if you have Mr. Li Ka-shing's business card and can contact him anytime via email, phone, or mobile, is he your network? Networks are more about equal exchange and mutual help. So someone said that your achievement is the average of your three best friends. This is true, but it should not be understood in reverse as needing to upgrade the level of your three best friends and abandon those "low-class" friends. Instead, it should be understood positively: I should improve my own cultivation, do well in my own career, and help my good friends around me become more successful.
We think it's fine to meet new friends, but don't become a social animal. Leave some time for yourself to learn and grow, to read, improve, and think. Over time, we will become better ourselves, and naturally attract friends who are equally excellent. The law of attraction in networking is that you attract friends who are like you.
Only when you find yourself and be the best version of yourself will the world find you.
Misconception 3: Networks are to help yourself succeed.
To do business, rely on friends. To solve problems, seek networks. The traditional concept of networks is people who help us solve problems. But the truth is, what we get first is what we give. That is, if you need help from others, you must first help others.
True networking masters are not those who exhaust their efforts to get others to help them, but those who sincerely and selflessly help others without expecting anything in return. The world is fair. When you can help others without expecting return, when you need it, the world will also help you.
Some classmates say, "I don't have resources, how can I help others?" Yu Minhong of New Oriental said that when he was in college, because he came from a rural area, he was inferior to his Peking University classmates in many ways, but he insisted on doing one thing: fetching water for five years and being a dormitory cleaner for five years. Years later, he said that a big reason Wang Qiang and Xu Xiaoping were willing to start a business with him was those five years of cleaning work. This shows that if you are willing, there is always a place where you can help others.
Finally, end this article with a sentence: The so-called secret of networking is to be yourself, help others selflessly, irrigate with time, and be sincere.
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