Private Enterprise Internal Management Research/Pan Wenfu As the saying goes, 'Disaster comes from the mouth.' A kind word can warm three winter months, but a harsh word can chill even in June. An inappropriate remark can immediately escalate conflicts or plant seeds of hatred in the other person's heart. The labor relationship between bosses and employees directly determines the combat effectiveness of the business team and also determines the fluctuation curve of the boss's bank account. The reason why labor relations have problems is that salary is an important factor, but another important factor is that bosses have issues in communication and interaction with employees, leading to contradictions and disputes. Either the boss offends the employee, or the employee offends the boss. Of course, subjectively speaking, bosses naturally do not deliberately intend to offend employees, nor is it necessary. When bosses offend employees, it is often unintentional and inadvertent, such as saying the wrong thing or speaking foolishly, thereby offending employees. Sometimes, a single sentence can offend all employees present, with a powerful destructive effect. Different perspectives lead to different understandings of many things. A casual remark from the boss might offend employees, and the boss may not even realize it. From the boss's perspective, these words are harmless and normal, not offensive. But from the employees' perspective, it is a different story: harsh, grating, damaging self-esteem, and humiliating. So, what specific foolish words from bosses offend employees? "Remember this lesson!" When employees are forgetful, bosses often scold them and habitually add this phrase. From the boss's perspective, it means telling employees to keep better records of work matters to avoid forgetting. But from the employees' perspective, it means the boss is calling them stupid, unable to remember even simple things, further implying incompetence. However, the root cause of this problem lies with the boss, because the human brain's memory is inherently uncertain. Generally, among information received through sound (language), there is a blind listening rate of over 15%. The so-called 15% blind listening rate means that more than 15% of what is heard on the spot is immediately forgotten, which is what we often call 'in one ear, out the other.' Moreover, information received and stored in the brain is not in a stable state but gradually lost. Of ten pieces of information received today, more than seven will be lost after five days. Additionally, various types of information stored in the brain can sometimes cross and become confused. These are physiological characteristics of humans, common to everyone. However, bosses are unaware of these. When issuing work instructions and information, they basically do so verbally, not realizing the existence of blind listening rate, continuous memory loss, and cross-information confusion. The root cause of employees' forgetfulness lies in the boss's incorrect way of issuing instructions. Of course, this is easy to solve: when assigning work, besides verbal instructions, it should be written down in black and white, and as much as possible, use kanban management. Kanban management means displaying each employee's work tasks on the wall in black and white, so everyone can see at a glance what each person has to do, naturally reducing forgetfulness. "Work hard and you'll get a raise!" This is a common phrase bosses use to encourage employees. It seems harmless: work hard, achieve good results, and the boss will not treat you unfairly; promotions and raises are possible. Of course, this is from the boss's perspective. But from the employees' perspective? Employees think it should be: raise first, then work hard. Otherwise, with the current salary, there is little motivation. Moreover, 'work hard and get a raise' requires employees to invest and pay first, to produce results. But the question is, after producing results, can they be guaranteed better returns? Uncertain! What guarantees that there will be corresponding returns at that time? The company is ultimately run by the boss, who holds the rules and measurement standards. It is easy to come up with reasons not to pay or to delay payment. So, phrases like 'work hard first, then get a raise' are like pies in the sky, unreliable. Instead of expecting an uncertain outcome, it is better to base on current income and do as much as possible. A bird in the sky cannot be counted as a dish. Therefore, no matter how much the boss says everyone should work hard and achieve certain levels, and then the company will give such and such rewards, employees just hear it as nonsense. Actually, the root cause of this problem is simple: both bosses and employees hope the other side will pay first. Everyone is waiting for the other to invest first, unwilling to invest without guaranteed returns. Moreover, as a boss, when making these reward promises, do not just talk; there must be supporting measures, such as detailed evaluation plans, real reward cases as examples, guarantee measures for payment, and also consider employees' thinking patterns. Sometimes, it is necessary to make some upfront investments to let employees feel real incentives in advance. Without these supporting measures and partial upfront investment, when the boss says 'work hard and get a raise,' employees will treat it as a joke to coax children. "After it's done—" Not only do bosses say this to employees, but also to other bosses and friends: 'After it's done, such and such will happen.' As a boss, it is easy to say and understand: once this matter is accomplished, I won't forget you, and you will get some return. However, the listener might think from another angle: only after it's done will there be something. What if it fails? Is there nothing? Moreover, in many cases, even if the goal is not fully achieved, there has been significant effort in the early stages. If the matter is not accomplished, what about those early investments? So, before the matter is accomplished, shouldn't the boss proactively show something? Does he have to wait until it's done to give something? Doesn't that also show a lack of trust in me? "Personal petty gains" Bosses are one with their companies. When viewing themselves, they combine company interests with personal interests. When viewing employees, they separate company interests from employee interests. Sometimes, there can be conflicts between the two. When employees, for personal gain, do things that harm company interests, bosses often say, 'personal petty gains.' To employees, the boss calling their personal gains 'petty' is ridiculous and infuriating. Employees come to work not to repay the boss but to solve their own economic problems, i.e., for their own petty gains. No! From the employees' perspective, it should be 'petty big gains'! Actually, employees do not work for the company but for themselves. Employee behavior is not driven by company interests but by personal interests. So it is not 'personal petty gains' but 'personal big gains.' The company's development prospects are closely related to the boss, not much to employees. If things don't work out, they can switch to another company; there is no need to stay in one company or sacrifice personal interests for the company's sake. Therefore, when the boss talks about employees' 'personal petty gains,' it fully reflects the boss's selfishness, standing only from the boss's personal interests without considering employees' interests. "I'm only addressing the issue, not the person" Many bosses like to add this when criticizing employees in meetings: 'Today, I'm only addressing the issue, not the person.' The boss's intention is to analyze the matter itself, find causes, solutions, or preventive measures. But who did the matter? Wasn't it done by a person? Addressing the issue is addressing the person! When the boss says 'addressing the issue, not the person,' employees see it as even more hypocritical! "Sharp tongue, soft heart" This is also a phrase many bosses like to say, especially female bosses. After scolding employees, they like to add this, even saying, 'Don't take it to heart; I'm just like that, sharp tongue, soft heart.' Big mistake! The harm of language is quite severe. A sentence uttered on the spot can immediately offend or hurt the other person. Others cannot know your inner thoughts; they only hear what you say. Before others know you have a soft heart, your sharp tongue has already hurt their hearts. No matter how much you explain afterward that your heart is softer than Japanese tofu, it's useless; the seed of hatred has already been planted. Of course, the foolish words of dealer bosses are not limited to the above. Due to space constraints, we only briefly analyze a few common ones. In short, a casual remark from the boss might plant a landmine that could explode at any time. Interpersonal relationships are maintained through communication. The way and content of communication directly affect the relationship between both parties, especially the sensitive labor relationship. Some confused dealers often worsen their relationship with employees by saying the wrong things or speaking recklessly, leading to unnecessary contradictions and disputes. As the saying goes, 'You can eat whatever you want, but you can't speak carelessly.' These foolish words not only do not help solve problems but also provoke employee resistance, leading to a worse situation. The author comes from a private business background, having operated a family dealership company for many years, during which he also served as a business manager and trainer in several production enterprises. His research focuses on the internal management of small and medium-sized private enterprises, with main topics including personnel management, cost control, management backend construction, and the integration of retired military personnel into private enterprises. He has continuously broken down over 400 topics related to internal management of private enterprises and maintains ongoing collection of materials and updates to solutions. -END-