You think ordering food is a natural attribute of foodies? No! Any meal with more than two people is a social activity. Ordering is a dual test of 'food IQ' and emotional intelligence. Bad ordering can leave everyone disappointed, friendships can capsize, and careers can sink. Good ordering can make the meal lively and delicious, elevating you to a thoughtful companion, a trendsetter, or even the shining star of your team. Don't believe it? Today, let's talk about the art of ordering. **1. Never ordering is the biggest problem Always refusing to order = being too passive. You might say: Why bother? If I don't order, I won't expose myself, right? Well, "never taking the initiative to order" will become evidence for others to label you. Once upon a time, I never took the initiative to order, even among close friends. I would always say, "I'm easy, you choose." Until one day, a close friend couldn't help but kindly remind me: "Have you noticed that you are too passive in your interactions?" Seeing my shock, she continued: "In every situation that requires a choice, you choose silence. On the surface, this seems easygoing, but in reality, it gives a vague, indecisive, even closed-off impression. Others have to guess your feelings." I realized then that excessive passivity is a selfish form of self-protection. Later, I began to learn to take on the task of ordering proactively. You think ordering is just deciding what to eat today? No. Everyone has some degree of choice anxiety. Ordering saves others the trouble of deciding, rescuing their brain cells. You are providing a service. No one refuses a person who serves enthusiastically. This is also a valuable interpersonal touchpoint. If you don't seize the opportunity to take responsibility, others won't see your abilities. (Of course, it depends on the occasion; generally, the host orders. This refers to when others ask you to order, at least don't shirk it.) But, of course, not shirking ordering is just the first step. So, how to become a person who "knows how to order"? **2. Tailor to the guests, starting with choosing the right place Wrong choice = lack of consideration. Differences in taste often start with the preference for spicy food. I've seen people who don't eat spicy themselves choose a Hunan restaurant, then say, "Stir-fried beef with yellow peppers, no spice; blood duck, less spice... Do you have any non-spicy dishes?" Before the meal even starts, you want to say, "Enjoy your meal" and flip the table. That said, Sichuan and Hunan cuisines are delicious, but they suit close friends who all love spicy food. For business dinners with unfamiliar people, choose safe options like Cantonese or Jiangsu-Zhejiang cuisine. Why are Cantonese restaurants generally more upscale than Sichuan restaurants nationwide (except in Guangdong)? This is mutually causal with Cantonese cuisine being more suitable for business banquets. **3. Choose the venue according to the atmosphere you want to create Not sensing the atmosphere = not knowing the gravity of the situation. If there are many people, choose a restaurant with private rooms or a quiet, less crowded dining area, and have a communal meal. I've experienced a dozen people squeezed into a narrow Vietnamese restaurant, where we had to line up small tables, resembling Da Vinci's "The Last Supper." We had to shout to talk and pass dishes around. Eating became a physical workout, and eventually, everyone fell silent. If there are few people, you can choose a more private setting. For example, a business discussion with fewer than four people is perfect for a mid-to-high-end Japanese restaurant in the CBD (but definitely not a conveyor-belt sushi chain). The vibe, portion, and atmosphere are just right. Of course, don't make it too private. Once, on a business trip with a male colleague, we chose a Yunnan restaurant based on Dianping. When we arrived, we found the restaurant had only small booths with dim lighting and heavy curtains. We sat down awkwardly and, without saying a word, asked the waiter not to draw the curtains to show our innocence. Actually, for informal business meals, you don't have to crowd into a restaurant at noon. You can arrange an afternoon tea. The food is exquisite and beautiful, the environment is quiet and pleasant, and the price is cheaper than a full meal. You get both face and substance, and the relaxed atmosphere helps promote results. **4. Ordering is like a KPI assessment; you need highlights Not ordering a signature dish = being stingy. I'm not teaching you to be sly: How to make your KPI look good? The answer is to have at least one or two standout achievements throughout the year, focusing 80% of your energy on 20% of the tasks. If you excel at that 20%, you get an A+. The same goes for ordering. Among the dishes, you should have at least two or three "big dishes." These aren't necessarily the most expensive. I once made this mistake: I ordered a very expensive foie gras sashimi, but the restaurant's plating was so poor that it had no visual impact. A failure. Order dishes that are visually stunning. Sashimi is fine, but make sure the plating is generous. Ideally, it should be arranged like a bonsai, with dry ice swirling, making everyone go "wow" when it arrives. Seafood is also a perennial favorite. If you want to play it safe, follow old traditions. For example, in Guangdong, a meal should have chicken and fish. The chicken should be whole, like white-cut chicken or soy sauce chicken, where the whole bird is visible. The fish should also be whole; a steamed whole fish is better than a big pot of fish with pickled mustard greens. **5. A thoughtful companion starts with a meal Ordering according to your own preferences = selfishness. Once on Weibo, a girl's innocent complaint sparked public outrage. She said she asked for no scallions in every dish, and her dining companions expressed clear dissatisfaction. Many netizens condemned her: "It's fine to ask for no scallions in a few dishes, but all dishes? I'd just leave." This is an example of ordering only from your own perspective. In "Dream of the Red Chamber," Lin Daiyu had the most talent, but one should learn to be like Xue Baochai. When Baochai celebrated her birthday in the Jia Mansion, she was asked what shows she liked and what food she preferred. Knowing that Grandmother Jia liked lively operas and sweet, soft food, she answered accordingly, flattering her without being obvious. A true master. Although we shouldn't be scheming, sometimes just considering others in small details can smooth relationships. Why not? A high EQ lies in empathy. If you know the person well, you'll know their preferences. If not, you can infer from their hometown and personality. At the very least, choose safe, common options. Pig brain, duck blood, bullfrog, silkworm pupae—these aren't for everyone. Unless you're all like-minded friends, don't order them even if you think they're delicious. The basic etiquette before ordering is to ask about dietary restrictions and preferences, and before ordering uncertain dishes, seek everyone's consent. I once experienced a meal where, when the soup arrived, half the table shouted in surprise, "Ah, seahorse!" while the other half pretended to be calm and quietly put down their spoons. It was a meal full of surprise and shock... By the way, if you're really unsure, order the chef's recommendations. Best-sellers are popular for a reason. If they can't even make the recommended dishes well, then the restaurant's level is clear. Back to the scallion example. When ordering, try not to use negative sentences for yourself. For instance, "no scallions" sounds harsher than "less scallions." Once the other person understands the reason, they might offer to omit them entirely. The most clever method is to quietly order a few dishes that obviously can't have scallions and only eat those. Missing a few dishes won't kill you. **6. The wisdom of a foodie lies in combination and matching Poor matching = poor management skills and low taste. The most superb skill in ordering is to make the table look like a landscape—different from every angle. Ingredients should be varied. For pork, beef, lamb, chicken, duck, fish, shrimp, etc., one dish each is enough. The same for vegetables. (Except for themed banquets like a lamb feast.) Not long ago, I had Hubei cuisine. Out of ten dishes, three had lotus root as the main ingredient. Another dish was lotus root's son—lotus root tips. It felt like they were mocking us for being "ugly" (a pun on "eating lotus root" sounding like "eating ugly"). Types should also be varied. One soup, one braised dish, a few stir-fries, and at most two casseroles. Once, someone inexplicably ordered a table full of casseroles. All we saw were black clay pots with soup, no breathing room. It was like dark clouds pressing down on the city, ready to destroy it. Quite funny. You must have green leafy vegetables. Dessert is the icing on the cake; it's optional but adds a lively finish. In short, when ordering, have a mental image of what the dishes will look like on the table. Consider whether the colors are too monotonous and the plating too uniform. **7. Finally, hand the initiative back to the other party Not asking for input = being opinionated. Although everyone dislikes taking responsibility, they like to have some control and enjoy being the one to make the final decision. Therefore, when ordering staple foods and drinks, you can hand over the initiative: "What staple food? What drinks?" (Note: use "what" not "whether") If they don't want any, they'll say, "No need" or "Just eating dishes/drinking tea is fine." If they have something in mind, they'll speak up. Finally, leave one or two dishes flexible and ask, "Would you like to take another look?" Even if they say no, asking is better than not asking. My negative example in this regard is my husband. Once, at a restaurant I'd been longing to try, I had already decided what to order based on Dianping. But while I was in the restroom, he quickly ordered without leaving me any room. Every dish was the opposite of what I wanted. I was so angry I cried and almost wanted a divorce. Oh my, even now I'm still angry. Do you foodies understand my feelings? (I digress, let's get back...) Yes, when it comes to ordering, there's no big philosophy or fancy parameters. Whether it's a grand seafood restaurant or a small eatery near the office, the same principles apply. Just like when I took a group for dim sum recently, I ordered the ordinary shrimp dumplings, siu mai, and char siu bao with rhythm, and was praised for "knowing how to order." The secret: order all the safe bets like the signature shrimp dumplings, add a few variations of regular items like rice roll made with red rice or egg tarts with snow frog to create a sense of luxury, then add two or three unconventional items like sushi rolls or caramel custard for a touch of surprise, and finally pass the menu around for a symbolic round of additions. It's really not about scheming or manipulation, because in the end, you'll find that a simple act can make everyone at the table eat well and chat happily, which is a great sense of achievement. And in return, you'll enjoy everyone's affection. 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