He Criticized His Subordinates Like This, Yet They Were Grateful?

As the saying goes, 'Jade requires carving to become a vessel.' Therefore, as a manager, if you want to build a well-trained, united, and effective team, and if you want your subordinates to complete tasks in the way you expect and achieve desired results, you must effectively master the weapon of 'criticism' to correct, regulate, and shape employee behavior and team culture.

But let's think calmly: do managers with titles like 'General Manager,' 'Director,' 'Manager,' or 'Supervisor' truly understand how to criticize employees effectively? Do they really grasp the 'small tricks' and 'big principles' of criticizing employees? Let's look at a real case below—a 'help-seeking letter' from a general manager about employee criticism.

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A General Manager's Worry: How Should I Point Out Subordinates' Shortcomings?

First, I don't consider myself a perfectionist or overly strict person. I know there is no perfect employee who fully satisfies me, and I don't require every employee to meet all my expectations. So, please don't reply with those big principles; I need practical techniques now. Second, the question that has been troubling me these days is whether I should point out subordinates' shortcomings and how to do it.

I recently joined this company. After observing for a while, I found that several employees' abilities, expertise, and experience don't match their positions. This is a network company, and our profit mainly comes from advertising revenue. I occasionally point out their mistakes at work—very specific errors, not general principles. But later, they all left, saying I wasn't a good leader and just complained all day.

Honestly, I am a positive person who never blames fate. I've been through various setbacks without changing my attitude. So their departure isn't a bad thing for me; I just worry about their future.

But now there's something I find hard to handle. Among the remaining old employees, my assistant is the one I trust most. I consult her on almost everything in the company. She is very dedicated, works hard, often works overtime, and always puts the company first.

However, she has two flaws I can't accept: first, she is selfish; second, she likes to make excuses. Because she is my most loyal aide, her power is greater than that of ordinary managers. She tends to over-report expenses or buy small items for herself when shopping. Also, she likes to make excuses, such as being late or saying her phone was dead when she didn't return calls. Many of these excuses are unreasonable. I hesitated and thought for a long time about this flaw, but I finally brought it up because if she doesn't correct it, I'll be very worried, and it's also detrimental to the company's development.

When I communicated with her, I used a specific incident. She hadn't done something well, and when I criticized her, she blamed other employees for not cooperating. That made me a bit angry; I suspected it was mostly due to her unclear instructions. But I still called another employee to verify, and indeed, that colleague hadn't received clear task assignments (of course, if that colleague were more perceptive, he could have inferred the task, but I think we can't demand that of an employee).

So I used that incident to expand and criticized her shortcomings. I told her why I was so angry—not just about the current matter, but about her own flaws.

That caused a big reaction. Since then, her enthusiasm has been greatly affected. She is no longer proactive at work, doesn't show concern for me, just does her routine tasks without expressing opinions. She only does what I tell her and doesn't take initiative anymore...

So, I'm really confused: what should I do about subordinates' shortcomings? I'm a general manager, after all. Can't I even mention their mistakes and flaws? Why do they react so strongly when I point them out? Either they resign or become passive-aggressive?

So, what should I do next? Should I just let their shortcomings go, or should I change my approach? Actually, I've been very good to my employees, treating them like brothers and sisters. I don't like to put on airs, and I rarely use commanding tones to assign tasks.

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1 Obstacles to Effective Employee Criticism

Self-Righteousness and Lack of Self-Reflection

From the general manager's description, we see that the root problem causing his current dilemma is his self-righteousness—that is, he always thinks he is right, and others should understand and obey, should do things according to his requirements, or even according to his imagined requirements. He assumes others should naturally think the same as him, and when they don't, he finds it incomprehensible and hopeless.

This is a common problem among many managers, and it's very typical in this case. For example, the general manager starts by saying, 'First, I don't consider myself a perfectionist or overly strict person. I know there is no perfect employee who fully satisfies me, and I don't require every employee to meet all my expectations.'

But anyone with management experience knows: when a person deliberately emphasizes that they 'don't care about XX,' deep down, they actually care about that very 'XX.' For instance, when discussing salary or benefits, many people say, 'First, I'm not concerned about money, but I think the company's compensation system is...' But we all know they are talking about money.

The general manager repeatedly emphasizes that he is 'not perfectionist' and 'doesn't require everything to meet his expectations,' but from his own description of his behavior ('I occasionally point out their mistakes at work') and the actual results ('they all left, saying I wasn't a good leader and just complained all day'), his problem is precisely his perfectionism and self-righteousness.

Another fundamental reason the general manager is trapped in the 'criticism dilemma' is his lack of reflection and self-examination. After driving away so many employees, he still thinks the problem lies with others, not himself, because he says, 'Honestly, I am a positive person who never blames fate... Their departure isn't a bad thing for me; I just worry about their future.'

What's worse, due to these two obstacles—self-righteousness and lack of self-reflection—he makes the mistake of 'attending to trifles and neglecting the essentials' when seeking solutions.

He says, 'So, please don't reply with those big principles; I need practical techniques now,' which shows he hasn't fully realized that the root of his improper criticism is not that he lacks the 'small tricks' of criticizing employees, but that he hasn't understood the 'big principles' of employee criticism and motivation.

As a manager, especially a general manager, if you only pursue 'practical techniques'—these trivial skills—without truly understanding the 'big principles' of human heart and nature (which I call 'top-notch skills'), your career development and business space will be greatly limited. So, what are the 'big principles' of employee criticism? The biggest principle is: respect the individual, correct the behavior.

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2 The 'Big Principles' of Employee Criticism

Respect the Individual, Correct the Behavior

When facing employees, the first thing a manager must do is treat them as living 'people' with thoughts and feelings. In fact, whether your criticism achieves the desired effect depends not on how 'noble' or 'correct' your motives are, but on the subjective feelings of the person being criticized. If they feel 'negative,' 'negative,' 'denied,' or 'belittled,' then no matter how correct, noble, or skillful you think your criticism is, you will only reap the opposite result—employee hostility, resentment, or even resistance.

Therefore, as a manager, to make your criticism effective and to have others willingly accept the shortcomings you point out and make adjustments, the first 'big principle' you need to understand is respect.

You must start from the sincere intention of helping the other person improve, and give your criticism and feedback in a way that doesn't hurt their self-esteem and brings positive emotional experiences (or at least not negative ones).

But what did the general manager in the case do? When his criticism didn't work, he resorted to 'personal attacks' (even with a hint of 'settling scores' and 'shame turning to anger'). In his own words, 'So I used that incident to expand and criticized her shortcomings. I told her why I was so angry—not just about the current matter, but about her own flaws.' This is precisely the taboo of criticism: personal attack and lack of respect.

In fact, the fundamental purpose of criticizing employees is to 'eliminate the mistake while protecting the individual'—that is, to correct improper behavior without attacking personal character or denying personal value. Therefore, the first principle of effective criticism is 'criticize the behavior, respect the individual.'

If you correct a specific behavior without hurting their personal feelings, they won't feel the need to defend themselves. However, criticism is often like hammering a nail into a board. Even if you pull the nail out (the criticism passes), the hole remains.

So, to make your criticism more effective and minimize or even eliminate this 'nail hole effect,' you need to achieve another thing: win the employee's 'recognition'—that is, make them sincerely accept your criticism.

How can you make employees sincerely accept your criticism while respecting them? This involves the 'techniques' of employee criticism.

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3 'Small Tricks' for Criticizing Employees

Of course, management is both a science and an art, and criticizing employees has its methods and techniques. After understanding the 'big principles' and 'big wisdom' of employee criticism, let's also explore a few small tricks.

Use benchmarking and praise methods to turn 'criticism' into 'self-criticism.'

We all know that good children are praised into being, and good employees are also praised into being. Therefore, as a manager, if you want employees to voluntarily change their behavior, you need to understand that positive guidance is more effective than negative denial. Use positive guidance, set examples and benchmarks, and use demonstration (preferably leading by example) to influence employees and promote change, rather than relying solely on criticism.

Everyone has a sense of honor and shame. When they know the difference between 'good' and 'bad,' they will consciously engage in 'self-reflection' and 'self-criticism,' and voluntarily align with good behavior.

Don't always 'criticize' personally; learn to shape team atmosphere and let team culture correct wrong behavior.

As a manager, especially a senior manager, you should turn the values, behaviors, and ways of thinking you advocate into team culture and atmosphere. This way, all team members can 'supervise' and 'criticize' on your behalf, rather than always taking the lead and attracting all the fire, 'carrying all the problems yourself.'

Criticism should 'grasp the big and let go of the small'; don't always focus on trivial details.

What is 'big'? Principles are big, values are big, performance goals are big. If these are violated or not achieved, you must seriously pursue them. But you must also know how to let go of the small. Don't take minor details too seriously (especially those that differ from your own habits, thoughts, or ideas)! And don't be like the employee said, 'always complaining.' Think about it: who would like a leader who constantly denies them?

Be a gentle but strict manager.

As a manager, an important criterion for your excellence is the results you achieve with your team. Without rules, nothing can be accomplished; necessary behavioral constraints, corrections, and criticism are inevitable and even necessary.

But strict requirements are not contradictory to employee respect and obedience; the key is how you do it. We know that behavior starts with goals, and results are achieved through behavior.

If you set strict requirements from the start, closely monitor behavior, and provide timely support, help, and feedback for employees' work, helping them achieve goals and gain performance and achievements, then they will see your care and respect behind your strict requirements and necessary criticism. The power of effective criticism comes precisely from your sincere care and help for them.

Former U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower once said, 'Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.'

As a leader and (senior) manager, your every word and action, your decisions, your words, and even your facial expressions affect employee morale!

But only correct guiding principles can lead to correct behavior. Therefore, as a manager, can you afford not to learn effective criticism? Can you afford not to understand the 'big principles' and 'big wisdom' of effective criticism, and not to master, explore, practice, and perfect the 'small tricks' of effective criticism?

Of course not!

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