Private Enterprise Internal Management Research/Pan Wenfu As the saying goes, "Disaster comes from the mouth." A kind word can warm three winters, but a harsh word can hurt for three months. An inappropriate remark can immediately escalate conflicts or plant seeds of resentment in the other person's heart. The labor relationship between boss and employee directly determines the combat effectiveness of the business team and also determines the fluctuation curve of the boss's bank account. When problems arise in this relationship, salary is one important factor, but another key factor is communication and interaction issues between the boss and employees. Conflicts and disputes occur either because the boss offends the employee or the employee offends the boss. Of course, subjectively, bosses don't deliberately try to offend employees—there's no need. When bosses do offend employees, it's often unintentional, such as saying the wrong thing or speaking foolishly, thereby offending employees. Sometimes, a single sentence can offend all employees present, with quite a powerful effect. Different perspectives lead to different understandings of many things. A casual remark by the boss might offend an employee, and the boss may not even realize it. From the boss's perspective, these words are harmless and normal, not offensive. But from the employee's perspective, it's a different story—harsh, grating, damaging to self-esteem, and humiliating. So, what specific foolish remarks do bosses make that offend employees? "Remember that!" When employees are forgetful, bosses often scold them and habitually add this phrase. From the boss's perspective, it means telling the employee to keep better records of work matters to avoid forgetting or losing things again. But from the employee's perspective, it means the boss is calling them stupid—unable to remember even simple things—and further implying incompetence. However, the root cause of this problem lies with the boss. Human memory is inherently unreliable. Generally, when information is received through sound (language), there is a "deaf rate" of over 15%, meaning that more than 15% of what is heard is immediately forgotten—what we often call "in one ear, out the other." Furthermore, information received and stored in the brain is not in a stable state but gradually decays. Of ten pieces of information received today, more than seven will be lost after five days. Additionally, various types of information stored in the brain can sometimes cross and become confused. These are physiological traits common to all humans, but bosses may not know this. When issuing work instructions and information, they primarily use verbal communication, not realizing the physiological traits of the deaf rate, continuous memory loss, and cross-information confusion. The root cause of employees' forgetfulness lies in the boss's incorrect method of issuing instructions. Of course, this is easy to solve: when assigning work, in addition to verbal instructions, provide written documentation and use kanban management as much as possible. Kanban management means displaying each employee's assigned tasks in writing on a wall, so everyone can see at a glance what each person has to do, reducing forgetfulness. "Work hard and you'll get a raise!" This is a common phrase bosses use to encourage employees. It seems harmless: work hard, achieve good results, and the boss won't treat you unfairly—promotions and raises are possible. Of course, that's from the boss's perspective. But from the employee's perspective? Employees think it should be the other way around: first raise the salary, then work hard. Otherwise, with the current low pay, there's little motivation. Moreover, "work hard and get a raise" requires the employee to invest and pay first, to produce results. But the question is: after producing results, can they be guaranteed better returns? It's uncertain! After all, the company is run by the boss, who holds the rules and evaluation standards. It's easy for the boss to come up with reasons not to honor promises or to delay them. Promises like "work hard and get a raise" are like pies in the sky—unreliable. Rather than expecting an uncertain outcome, it's better to base work on current income and do as much as possible. A bird in the sky can't be counted as a dish. So, no matter how much the boss talks about working hard and achieving certain levels to receive rewards, employees hear it as empty talk. The root cause of this problem is simple: both boss and employee want the other to invest first. Everyone is waiting for the other to make the first move, unwilling to invest without guaranteed returns. Moreover, when a boss makes such reward promises, they shouldn't just talk—they need supporting measures, such as detailed evaluation plans, real reward cases as examples, and guarantee measures for honoring promises. They also need to consider employees' thinking patterns and sometimes make some upfront investments to let employees feel real incentives. Without these supporting measures and some initial investment, phrases like "work hard and get a raise" are dismissed by employees as jokes to appease children. "After it's done—" Not only do bosses say this to employees, but also to other bosses and friends: "After it's done, I'll do this and that." For the boss, it's easy to say and understand: once the matter is accomplished, I won't forget you, and you'll get some reward. But for the listener, this phrase leads to another thought: it only happens after it's done. What if it doesn't succeed? Is there nothing? And in many cases, even if the goal isn't fully achieved, there were still efforts made in the early stages. If it ultimately fails, what about those initial investments? So, shouldn't the boss show something before it's done? Does it have to wait until after? Doesn't that indicate a lack of trust in me? "Personal petty gains" Bosses see themselves as one with their company, combining company interests with personal interests. But when viewing employees, they separate company interests from employee interests. Sometimes these two can conflict, and when employees act for personal gain at the expense of company interests, bosses often say, "personal petty gains." To employees, hearing the boss call their personal gains "petty" is ridiculous and infuriating. Employees come to work not to repay the boss but to solve their own economic problems—for their own "petty gains." No! From the employee's perspective, it should be "major gains"! In reality, employees work for themselves, not for the company. Their behavior is driven by personal interests, not company interests. So it's not "petty gains" but "major gains." The company's development prospects are closely tied to the boss, not to employees. If things don't work out, they can switch companies; there's no need to stay or sacrifice personal interests for the company. So, when bosses talk about employees' "petty gains," it fully reflects their selfishness, considering only their own interests and ignoring employees' interests. "I'm only addressing the issue, not the person." Many bosses like to add this when criticizing employees in meetings: "Today, I'm only addressing the issue, not the person." The boss's intention is to analyze the matter itself, find causes, solutions, or preventive measures. But who did the deed? Wasn't it done by a person? Addressing the issue is addressing the person! When the boss says "addressing the issue, not the person," employees see it as hypocrisy! "Sharp tongue, soft heart." This is another phrase many bosses like to say, especially female bosses. After scolding employees, they add, "Don't take it to heart. I'm like that—sharp tongue, soft heart." That's a big mistake! The harm of words is considerable. A single sentence can immediately offend or hurt someone. Others can't know what's in your heart; they only hear what you say. Before they know you have a soft heart, your sharp tongue has already hurt them. No matter how much you explain afterward that your heart is softer than Japanese tofu, it's useless—the seed of resentment has already been planted. Of course, the foolish remarks of dealer bosses are not limited to the above. Due to space constraints, I've only briefly analyzed a few common ones. In short, a casual remark from the boss might be laying a landmine that could explode at any time. Interpersonal relationships are maintained through communication. The way and content of communication directly affect the relationship between parties, especially the sensitive labor relationship. Some confused dealers often worsen their relationships with employees by saying the wrong things or speaking carelessly, leading to unnecessary conflicts and disputes. As the saying goes, "You can eat whatever you want, but you can't say whatever you want." These foolish remarks not only fail to solve problems but also provoke employee resistance, making things worse. The author comes from a private business background and has managed a family dealer company for many years, during which he also served as a business manager and trainer for several production enterprises. His research focuses on internal management of small and medium-sized private enterprises, with main topics including personnel management, cost control, management backend setup, and the integration of retired military personnel into private enterprises. He has continuously broken down over 400 topics related to internal management of private enterprises and keeps updating his material collection and solutions. The 2017 (3rd) FMCG + Internet Conference will be held in Chongqing in November 2017. The conference will closely focus on the theme "New Forces, New Ecology," inviting 1,000+ dealers, 500+ brand owners, 200+ B2B platform founders, and 100+ investment and financing institutions to jointly explore a new chapter of cross-border integration! Registration is hot; only 20+ tickets remain... Long press the QR code below or click "Read Original" to register. 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