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We all can "speak," but not necessarily "speak well." "Speaking" merely means you can express your meaning; "speaking well" means you can express yourself in the most appropriate and effective way to different people in different situations. "Speaking well" also means you can use appropriate language to move the person you are communicating with.
There are several standards for "speaking well":
- Substantive content—having knowledge, thoughts, and substance; this is fundamental.
- Logical order—being logical.
- Reasonable—being reasonable.
- Polite—being courteous.
- Literary—being eloquent.
- Emotional—being heartfelt.
- Humorous—having humor. Humor is a realm of language.
Of course, "speaking well" is not the same as "being glib."
As the ancients said: The mouth is the gateway to the heart. "Speaking well" reflects what is inside you.
Now, let us rethink and rediscover: From children to adults, whether in study, play, or work, those who are quiet or inarticulate are often led by those who are talkative and articulate. Talented people may not necessarily be articulate, but articulate people are certainly talented. Behind eloquence lies one's thoughts, thinking, logic, knowledge, wisdom, intelligence, and confidence. Having eloquence does not guarantee success; lacking eloquence certainly guarantees failure! Moreover, many Chinese people are keen on learning English while they still cannot speak Chinese well. We also discover...
From now on, think: Can I speak well? Act immediately! Make yourself "speak well"!
1. How to Skillfully Persuade Others When you say something favorable to yourself, people usually doubt you and your words—this is a natural human instinct. However, when you say something favorable to yourself in another way, you can greatly reduce this doubt. For you, the better way is: do not state it directly, but quote others, letting them speak for you, even if those people are not present.
Example: If someone asks you whether this product is durable, you can reply: "My neighbor has used it for 4 years, and it's still working fine." In fact, your neighbor effectively answered the question for you, even though he is not present.
Example: If you are applying for a position and the future boss is hesitant about your competence, you can mention how satisfied your previous boss was with your work.
Example: If you are persuading someone to rent your house and they worry about the quietness of the surroundings, you can mention that the previous tenant highly praised the quiet environment.
In all these examples, you do not need to answer the question directly. Your neighbor, your previous boss, or your previous tenant will answer for you. The person you are talking to will be more impressed than if you answered directly. This is a strange phenomenon: people rarely doubt the truth of what you describe indirectly. But when you say it directly, they are deeply suspicious. Therefore, speak through a third party's mouth. Quote others, use success stories, cite facts and statistics.
2. How to Skillfully Influence Others The first step to getting people to do what you want is to find out what motivates them (i.e., what they want). When you know what moves them, you know how to move them. Everyone is unique; we have different preferences and different views on things. Never assume that what you like is what others like, or what you pursue is what others pursue. Find what they like and what they pursue. Say what they want to hear, and they will be moved. Simply tell them that by doing what you ask, they will get what they want. This is a great secret to influencing others. It means hitting the target with your words. Of course, you must know where the target is.
Apply this principle in real life. Suppose you are a boss looking for an engineer to work for you. You know several companies are trying to hire him. Using the principle "understand what people want," you should first judge what position and company the engineer desires, and try to attract him. If you find he needs a higher position, show him you can offer that. If he seeks stability, talk about stability; if he values further education, talk about that. In the end, you should discover what others want, then tell them that doing what you want will achieve their goals.
Apply the principle from the opposite side—suppose you are applying for a job you desperately want. First, understand the abilities, responsibilities, and obligations required for the job, so you can show you are competent. If they need someone to contact clients by phone, you must show you can do that. When you know what they need, you can say what they want to hear.
The method to "understand what people want" is: ask more, observe more, listen more, and make unremitting efforts.
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